How to learn from valuable experiences

 Earlier last week, I was attending a Debate Competition. My first, and I had reason to believe that I would perform wonderfully and raise myself a couple of notches in the context of public speaking and confidence. However, unexpectedly I performed so poorly that I would have cringed upon watching it. My topic was changed last minute and I had to redo all of my research while waiting for my turn to debate. I could blame it, but I should rather have a passive meditation on it on what exactly went wrong. Keep reading, you might learn something valuable too. 

I took some time before the day of the debate to research the topic I was allotted, and I managed to make a 1000-word research and a one-minute speech to give in my 10-minute debate. Oh, and there were 3 people other than me participating in this same 10-minute debate. So I had reason to believe that I was well off, and well prepared. The only reason why I wasn't that scared to participate was that I was a MUNer ( A person who actively participates in Youth Parliament conferences). It couldn't have been much more different, and this was a chance to expand my network AND grab a good certificate from a renowned institute. 

However, getting that fateful call that my topic was changed, was quite annoying. I mean I worked hard for it! But I wouldn't let my spirits get dampened by this. I paid for the debate competition, and I came a long way from home. So, I put my all into researching it and re-planning my speech. And I nervously waited for my turn. And when it came to talking on the podium, I lost it. I was suddenly overwhelmed, flustered by the attack from the opponents, and suddenly finding myself in a bought of stage fright. This wasn't normal. I'm not usually afraid of the big stage, but this was different. I got stuck up defending non-arguments, not talking enough, running out of time, and I sheepishly felt that I could just leave the venue immediately. Which I did, when the debate was over. I just quickly grabbed my participation certificate and left. And I had to come back because I left literally all my belongings there. 

I was feeling pretty disappointed. I had no chance of getting into the next round. So I grabbed a sandwich and rode back home. 

Now.

This was the first of many debates to be followed. It wasn't great, yeah, but it taught me a lot. I now had experience, an idea of how to perform next time, how to research properly AND yeah, a lousy certificate.

Failure teaches more than success does. That couldn't have been more spot on. 

While pursuing anything, we are surely bound to be met with failure, agreed. But the art of learning from it is (arguably) more valuable than success. I was so glad that I met with this failure. So should we all. In a sense, it is a mental decision, but it is also as practical. It defines that you are undefeatable because when you succeed, you win. But when you fail, you win bigger. To understand what this is trying to teach you, at its core is the most important thing. It is easy to be disappointed and just put it off as a bad memory later, but overcoming this and being resilient is essential. This is the art that stoicism preaches. 

The key is to see it through. To perceive what went wrong, while parting with the disappointed feeling. It is great to make mistakes, sure. But it is stupid to make the same mistakes again. Repeating your mistakes is the worst way to put yourself behind for a couple of years. 

This results in more than just hazy optimism. It is quite practical and utterly useful. 

1. It changes your perspective towards mistakes, making everything that you do, in your favour.

2. You prevent yourself from repeating mistakes, increasing efficacy tenfold every time you make new mistakes. 

3. Strengthens your character, and teaches a skill that takes people minutes to learn, but years to master.

Journaling helps. Jordan Peterson states " The best way to teach people critical thinking is to teach them to write because there's no difference between that and thinking.' 

Writing down stuff, this could not be more emphasized. When we write something ( i.e. an experience or a thought), we tend to perceive that more correctly and articulately, which is unparalleled. 

Any small mistake can be used as an opportunity to do better next time. The art of learning can result in a quick behaviour change, which can slingshot you to where you want to be.  

So let us go out there, and make mistakes. But most of all, learn.